Knotty Thoughts

thinking under the influence

my sunken treasure April 21, 2010

[Tuesday April 20]
Laundry day brings clean clothes and reunions with guitar picks thought to be lost. Bus rides are welcome, giving me a solid time to catch up on comic books and soak in the energy of those with whom I share the earth. Each time someone asked me the date while writing a check or signing something at work I just smile and tell them it’s the twentieth of April, underground holidays are the best.

After a surprisingly busy day at work I spent the afternoon with my lovely Amy. I like her brain because it swirls around with mine each time we’re within eye shot and everything else melts away and we are kings of the universe! We break into tears at the sight of a dead creature and emit high pitched sounds at the sight of a live one. Even small little things like mister caterpillar, getting knocked over by the wind on the side walk.

We play in the garden (fuck being grown-ups!) and I show her the big fat cut I earned just hours earlier with a pair of scissors while trying to break down boxes. She just laughs and makes fun of me for my lack of finesse with a blade, it makes me wanna kick her ass! I threaten her and she’s so much smaller than me, but her eyes keep steady and she smiles. We’ll battle soon.

At some point in the quest for food and cigarettes Amy opens the trunk and starts making an excited high pitched sound. I know there’s not a cute little animal in there so my curiosity peaks. She comes to the window: ‘I still have half a half gallon of vodka in my trunk!!’
Just imagine my eyes getting real wide and my smile doubling: ‘FUCK yes! This day just got even sweeter!’ We light up and head to my place, tonight is gonna be good.

A holiday best spent with friends, we walk into the apartment quickly filled with excellent conversationalists and music in every room. Shot of vodka, shot of vodka, guitar, keyboard, singing. We should be writing songs for Dee Dee Bat, be we cannot focus. Amy wants to fight and I’m completely willing, but she’s so little! In the back of my head I’m afraid I’ll hurt her and then I feel guilty because we both know that’s the whole point and we both know all I need is a little more liquid encouragement. I owe her a couple hits in the ribs. She’s been working and going to school like crazy so it’s awesome that she decides to spend a chunk of her day off with me, and we’ll be making a trip to Seattle in May. I love this girl!

Earlier in the day a revolution brews in my brain. My notebook has been assaulted by mental gunfire as is evident by the ill prepared ink and sentence fragments wrecking the pages. I had to get all the thoughts down. A zine (an idea revisited thanks to a friend who recently put one together herself) based around finding our independence from governments and corporations in small ways with bartering and increased personal skill sets. It will be in print soon, I can feel the content bubbling up. I’m going to hand the first copies out at our vegan/vegetarian dinner on May 16th. Let me know if you want to come! Bring wine/drinks or coordinate with us and bring a vegan/veggie appetizer, dinner or dessert dish!

The remainder of the night was a swirl of advances, puppies, music and SLEEP. I hadn’t done that one in a little while.

[Wednesday, April 21]
Waking up a little hung over and sore did nothing to kill my instant joy today. I have to work soon, but it’s okay because all my clothes are clean. I’m hungry but we got groceries last night! It’s even healthy stuff! The sun is taking a little break, it rained all night. Everything is damp and heavy and I just wanna roll around in the world. Tomorrow we trek to Spokane for good company, laser tag and a punk rock show!

My thoughts are abundant, but steady, and my soul is absolute. Let’s do this mother fuckers!

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the wonder years November 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — knottythoughts @ 7:49 pm
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It’s a foggy Monday morning and I manage to look pretty scummy as I walk home from a night of exorcism and stoner movies at my guitarist’s place. I’m unusually well rested because his couch is the squishy kind of comfortable and Molly Danger the Chihuahua makes a wonderful cuddle buddy.

I can hear what’s left of last night sloshing around in my bag, the bottle is a little too big and pokes out the top; the epitome of class. I can feel my kidneys hating me for forgetting to take my antibiotics last night, I suppose the rum didn’t help either. Most of the leaves are gone from the tree branches by now and it makes me desperately wish for something less deciduous, maybe some mountains while we’re at it. I’m homesick.

Feeling strange right now: not bad, but not really good. Then I realize there’s a word for that , I say “melancholy” out loud; it starts to rain big fat MELANCHOLY drops. I suppose I set myself up for that one. Thanks to the pauses in my thoughts, semi-colons are my new best friend. Though I really cannot be that pensive, I have a tightly wound ball of excitement in my bones and I know it’s just a matter of hours before it all bursts forth, today will a good kind of interesting to say the least.

Usually I have Mondays off. Right now I have every day off.

My puppy should have had his morning walk hours ago, I feel guilty, but when I walk in the door he isn’t mad, just excited that I’m home now. Animals are impressive, they focus on the good and let all the bad shit just roll on by.  I’m almost out of cat food, fully out of money.  I will be job hunting today in an attempt to remedy my lack of income, but while I wait for invitations to interviews I’ll focus on sewing.  I’ve fallen in love with a new, more personal design aesthetic in the last few days and should be taking photos tomorrow with Lauren.  A very fun model who I am delighted to be working with.  Good things this way come.  I want to start a video cast to give my clothing label a more connected point of view, I’ll make the first one this week.  High hopes!